Making Friends

What it is

Meeting people, small talk, and slowly building real friendships.

Why it helps you

Friends make life lighter and safer. Being alone is hard on the body and mind; connection helps you heal.

Good to have first

Boundaries and Saying No.

This opens up

A support network, more joy.

Where to get help

How friendships usually start

Most friendships don’t start with a big moment. They grow when you see the same people again and again.

• Pick one group or place and go back every week for 6 to 8 weeks.
• Groups with a task (painting, a trail clean-up, a book club) are easier. When talk runs out, you just do the task.
• You don’t have to be interesting. Being interested works better. Ask simple questions, like “How did you get into this?”
• None of these places require you to be religious or share anyone’s beliefs.

Groups with a shared interest

Meetup A website and app for local groups that meet in person — hiking, board games, books, language practice, and much more.

• Cost: Free to join and use the basic plan. Some groups charge dues, and some events cost money.
• Who can use it: Adults with an email address
• How to start: Make a free account. Search for a topic you like and your city. Click “Join group,” then RSVP (say you’re coming) to one event.
• Good to know: The app may offer “Meetup+,” a paid plan. You don’t need it — tap “Continue with free plan.” Groups that charge dues say “Request to join” instead of “Join group.”

Support groups where people understand

NAMI Connection support groups Free, peer-led groups for adults who struggle with their mental health. The leaders have been through it too.

• Cost: Free
• Who can use it: Adults 18+. You don’t need a diagnosis.
• How to start: Pick your state on the page to find your local NAMI. Many groups meet online and are open to anyone. Or call the NAMI HelpLine at 1-800-950-6264, or text NAMI to 62640, and ask for the nearest group.
• Good to know: Groups are 90 minutes and follow simple rules so everyone gets heard. HelpLine hours: Monday–Friday, 10 a.m.–10 p.m. Eastern.

Recovering from Religion Peer support for people who are questioning, changing, or leaving a faith or a high-control group. You don’t need to have anything figured out.

• Cost: Free
• Who can use it: Anyone
• How to start: Find a support group (online or in person) through the “meetings” link on their site. Or call 1-844-368-2848, or use the chat bubble on the website.
• Good to know: This is peer support, not therapy. The helpline aims to answer around the clock.

Volunteering

Working side by side is one of the easiest ways to make friends.

Idealist A nonprofit website listing volunteer jobs near you and online. VolunteerMatch is now part of Idealist.

• Cost: Free to search
• Who can use it: Anyone
• How to start: Search for volunteer opportunities, enter your city, and pick something that happens every week.
• Good to know: Some places ask for a short form or a background check.

Volunteer.gov Volunteer jobs at national parks, forests, and other public lands.

• Cost: Free
• Who can use it: Anyone. Some longer roles need an application.
• How to start: Use the “One Day Events” filter to find a single-day trail or clean-up event near you.
• Good to know: Many events are outdoors. Ask what to wear and bring.

AmeriCorps A national service program. You serve full- or part-time for a set term, alongside a team, helping a community.

• Cost: Free. Most members get a small living allowance.
• Who can use it: Ages 17 and up; US citizens, nationals, or permanent residents
• How to start: Search openings and apply on the AmeriCorps site. Questions: call 1-800-942-2677.
• Good to know: This is a big commitment, more like a job. The application asks for two references.

Local classes and community centers

211 A free helpline that knows what’s happening near you.

• Cost: Free
• Who can use it: Anyone
• How to start: Dial 211 and say: “I’m new here and want to meet people. Are there free classes, community centers, or groups near me?”
• Good to know: Open 24/7. You can also ask your local community college about non-credit classes (no grades, often low-cost) and your city’s parks and recreation office about fee help for classes.

If you only do one thing first

Walk into your nearest public library and ask: “Do you have a calendar of free events for adults?” Pick one event and go. You don’t need an ID, money, or a reason to be there. Then go back the next week.

Watch out for

• Love bombing. If a new group treats you like their best friend right away, offers to fix your whole life, or wants all your free time, slow down. Real friendship takes months. Healthy groups are fine with you having other friends.
• “Business opportunities.” A new friend who soon talks about selling products or “being your own boss” may be recruiting you into an MLM (a scheme where you pay to sell and recruit). Friendship never costs money.
• “Wrong number” texts. A stranger texts by “mistake,” then becomes a friendly pen pal and later talks about crypto or investing. This is a common scam. Never send money to someone you only know online.
• Paying for friends. Clubs that charge big fees to “introduce” you to people aren’t needed. Libraries, volunteering, and free groups work.
• Online groups. Online communities can be a lifeline, but use a nickname, don’t share your address or workplace, and meet new people for the first time in a public place.