Aging, Death, and Wills

What it is

The plain facts about wills, what happens when someone dies, and caring for aging loved ones.

Why it helps you

Planning ahead spares you and the people you love from confusion and stress later.

This opens up

Peace of mind.

Where to get help

Choose who speaks for you in a medical emergency

If you are badly hurt or sick and can’t speak, doctors must ask someone else to decide for you. If you haven’t named anyone, state law usually picks your closest relatives, like a spouse, parents, or adult children. That can include family you no longer trust. An advance directive is a form that lets you name the person you want (often called a health care proxy or agent) and write down your wishes.

CaringInfo: Advance directive forms by state Free advance directive forms for every state, with instructions. It is run by the National Alliance for Care at Home, a nonprofit for hospice and home care.

Cost: Free
Who can use it: Any adult
How to start: Pick your state and download the form. Fill it out on a computer or print it.
Good to know: Follow the signing rules on your state’s form. States differ: some need adult witnesses, some need a notary. Often the person you name can’t be a witness. If you don’t have ID for a notary, ask the notary what your state allows. Give copies to your agent and your doctor.

The Conversation Project Free, gentle guides to help you think about what matters to you, choose a health care proxy, and talk about your wishes.

Cost: Free
Who can use it: Anyone
How to start: Download “Your Conversation Starter Guide” or the guide to choosing a health care proxy.
Good to know: Save the guide to your device before you type in it, or your answers may not be saved.

Make a simple will

If you die without a will, state law decides who gets your things. It usually picks your legal and blood relatives. A will lets you choose who gets your things and who handles your affairs. That person is called an executor.

FreeWill A website that asks you simple questions and makes a will you can print. It also makes free advance directives.

Cost: Free. No credit card needed.
Who can use it: Adults in the US with simple needs
How to start: Click “Get Started” and answer the questions.
Good to know: It is paid for by nonprofits, so it will ask if you want to leave a gift to a charity. That is optional. The will is not valid until you print it and sign it the way your state requires, usually with two adult witnesses who are not in the will. If your situation is complicated, like shared custody of a child, ask legal aid through LawHelp.org.

When someone dies

CFPB: Debts after someone dies The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau explains who pays a person’s debts after they die. Usually, debts are paid from what the person left behind, called their estate. If there isn’t enough, the debt may go unpaid.

Cost: Free
Who can use it: Anyone
How to start: Read the page before you talk to any debt collector.
Good to know: In general, family members don’t have to pay a loved one’s debts from their own money. Exceptions include if you co-signed the loan, shared the account, or live in certain states with special rules for spouses. Don’t agree to pay anything until you check.

FTC: The Funeral Rule A federal rule that protects you when you plan a funeral.

Cost: Free
Who can use it: Anyone
How to start: Read it before you call funeral homes. Your rights include:
- Getting prices over the phone, without giving your name.
- Buying only the items and services you want, not a whole package.
- Using a casket or urn you bought somewhere else, with no extra fee.
Good to know: No state law requires embalming for every death. For cremation, the funeral home must offer a simple, low-cost container.

Funeral Consumers Alliance A nonprofit that helps people plan a dignified funeral without overpaying. Some local groups compare prices at nearby funeral homes.

Cost: Free information
Who can use it: Anyone
How to start: Read the guides on the website, or call 802-865-8300.
Good to know: Look for a local group on the website. Not every area has one.

Caring for an older person

Eldercare Locator A federal service that connects you to local help for older adults and caregivers, like meals, rides, in-home help, and short breaks for caregivers.

Cost: Free to use. Local services may be free or based on income.
Who can use it: Older adults, their families, and caregivers
How to start: Call or text 1-800-677-1116, chat online, or enter your ZIP code on the website.
Good to know: It connects you to your local Area Agency on Aging.

Social Security: Representative payee If someone can’t manage their own Social Security or SSI money, Social Security can name a trusted person to get and manage it for them. That person is called a representative payee.

Cost: Free
Who can use it: Family, friends, or groups helping someone who can’t manage their benefits
How to start: Call Social Security at 1-800-772-1213 or visit a local office.
Good to know: A power of attorney is not enough to manage someone’s Social Security money. The payee must spend it only on the person’s needs and keep records.

Family Caregiver Alliance A nonprofit with free fact sheets, online support groups, and a list of caregiver services by state.

Cost: Free
Who can use it: Anyone caring for an adult with a long-term illness or disability
How to start: Read “Caregiver Resources” or look up “Services by State.”
Good to know: Some programs serve only California, where it is based.

If you only do one thing first

Fill out your state’s free advance directive from CaringInfo and name a person you trust. If you have cut off contact with your family, this is the step that keeps them from making medical choices for you. Then give copies to that person and your doctor.

Watch out for

Debt collectors after a death. Some collectors pressure family to pay a loved one’s debts from their own money. You usually don’t have to. Don’t give them a card or bank number until you check the rules.
Funeral upselling. A funeral home may hint that spending more shows more love. You can ask for the price list and buy only what you want.
Paid will websites. Some sites charge a lot for simple forms. Free, trusted tools exist, and legal aid can help if your needs are complicated.
Calls about a secret insurance policy. Scammers read obituaries and call families. They may claim a fee is needed to release money, or pretend to be from the government. Real insurers don’t charge a fee to pay a claim. Hang up and call the company yourself.
“Medicaid planners.” Some people charge big fees to help an older person qualify for nursing home care and give bad advice. Ask the Eldercare Locator or legal aid for free help instead.